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ghosts of memories
2 min read
Going through more of the images on external drive.
Finding ghosts of memories, flickers of half-thoughts, longed-for photographs that I had thought were lost, and visions of a different self.
Found a photo that I've had as the desktop on my powerbook for the past two years -- but couldn't find the original file for ages. Was extremely giddy to find it, as I thought it was gone. Had a hard drive fail 2006-2007 terms, and then another get b0rked, and had pretty much figured the raw file was long gone into pixel-black-hole.
Sometimes, I kind of think I shoot too much. [In terms of ending up with this huge massive backlog of images untouched, unseen, begging to see the light of day] Mainly in terms of how fast drive space gets eaten, and needing more external hard drives -- and from a financial perspective, relatively low to no return on investment.
But I love shooting. I love just getting out and playing with my camera, capturing light, everything around me. I love playing with materials, mucking around with acrylics, wax, prints, and just seeing where my hands take me.
I forget- I had something else I intended to type, but I am not sure what it was, at all, anymore.
Finding ghosts of memories, flickers of half-thoughts, longed-for photographs that I had thought were lost, and visions of a different self.
Found a photo that I've had as the desktop on my powerbook for the past two years -- but couldn't find the original file for ages. Was extremely giddy to find it, as I thought it was gone. Had a hard drive fail 2006-2007 terms, and then another get b0rked, and had pretty much figured the raw file was long gone into pixel-black-hole.
Sometimes, I kind of think I shoot too much. [In terms of ending up with this huge massive backlog of images untouched, unseen, begging to see the light of day] Mainly in terms of how fast drive space gets eaten, and needing more external hard drives -- and from a financial perspective, relatively low to no return on investment.
But I love shooting. I love just getting out and playing with my camera, capturing light, everything around me. I love playing with materials, mucking around with acrylics, wax, prints, and just seeing where my hands take me.
I forget- I had something else I intended to type, but I am not sure what it was, at all, anymore.
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november 10th
2 min read
Sitting, going through some of the older images.
Worrisome-- can't find my 2007 images. Probably on another external drive [I hope]. Not sure what I shot, but it is slightly disconcerting not having a clue where they have gotten to.
I'm still trying to work on completing DPAI @ Georgian, down to five credits remaining, two of which are general education that I am hoping to transfer credits from Cambrian for. Am working on one this semester, which will leave me with the final Techniques and Portfolio Development classes next semester.
Still trying to get accepted for ODSP, so that I can live somewhere other than my parents', and be able to have peace and quiet -- and work on my art more. Living with them after having my own apartment [where I could leave my art in process out in the middle of the room, so that I would see it and come back to it] has been really difficult and sanity-straining.
Started exploring Second Life in the late spring, trying to figure out a way to own land in world to experiment. Amalyn Whybrow is my name in-world if you want to get in touch with me there.
Finished up another book cover for Sean Costello over the summer - Here After. It is gorgeous and an awesome read, pick up a copy
edit: argh, I had forgotten how brutal it is trying to do much in Photoshop with a mouse. Got way too accustomed to using the Tablet PC -- except for the having to reboot every 10-15 minutes to keep it from blue-screening [and burning my knee]. Eh, maybe I'll grab it anyway from the basement for a bit, can't deal with brush tool with my trackball mouse.
Worrisome-- can't find my 2007 images. Probably on another external drive [I hope]. Not sure what I shot, but it is slightly disconcerting not having a clue where they have gotten to.
I'm still trying to work on completing DPAI @ Georgian, down to five credits remaining, two of which are general education that I am hoping to transfer credits from Cambrian for. Am working on one this semester, which will leave me with the final Techniques and Portfolio Development classes next semester.
Still trying to get accepted for ODSP, so that I can live somewhere other than my parents', and be able to have peace and quiet -- and work on my art more. Living with them after having my own apartment [where I could leave my art in process out in the middle of the room, so that I would see it and come back to it] has been really difficult and sanity-straining.
Started exploring Second Life in the late spring, trying to figure out a way to own land in world to experiment. Amalyn Whybrow is my name in-world if you want to get in touch with me there.
Finished up another book cover for Sean Costello over the summer - Here After. It is gorgeous and an awesome read, pick up a copy
edit: argh, I had forgotten how brutal it is trying to do much in Photoshop with a mouse. Got way too accustomed to using the Tablet PC -- except for the having to reboot every 10-15 minutes to keep it from blue-screening [and burning my knee]. Eh, maybe I'll grab it anyway from the basement for a bit, can't deal with brush tool with my trackball mouse.
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Sun-day
1 min read
Went out shooting today with the Barrie camera club, had a blast. Waterfalls in Bala and near Bracebridge. Shot about 7gb worth of images, mostly HDR panoramas. Sleepy - sun and me do not mix well.
Working on book cover concept for Sean Costello's new novel, really glad to be doing some design work again.
Still on Gaia, I love hunting down bugs to fix. Plus I get to dress up my pixel-self all spiffy-like and pretend to be an evil overlord in a virtual economy. Well, generally benevolent low-end upper class with a penchant for surreal naked ballet.
Sleep now.
Working on book cover concept for Sean Costello's new novel, really glad to be doing some design work again.
Still on Gaia, I love hunting down bugs to fix. Plus I get to dress up my pixel-self all spiffy-like and pretend to be an evil overlord in a virtual economy. Well, generally benevolent low-end upper class with a penchant for surreal naked ballet.
Sleep now.
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June already
2 min read
Wow, it's June. 
Whoa, I just realized it has almost been a year since I have submitted anything.
I have a ton of photographs, images, half-finished paintings, video bits and pieces, that have been sitting at the back of my mind. "Put them up, put them up...!"
What holds me back is the sheer mass of backlog.
And that it is all spread across 2x 500gb drives, 1x 1tb drive, 1x 320gb, 2x 250gb. Duplicates, multiple versions, you name it - it is a snarl of insanity. Big chunk of the 1tb drive is video footage of my lectures, as well as footage from Latvia. Which I had a rough edit of, and then lost somewhere before New Years.
What I need, more than anything, is to find a space that I can plop myself, desktop, drives, laptops in, and just sit and plow through my stuff, eliminate duplicates, organize folders in a sane way.
Unrealistic flight of fancy dreams of getting a big solar panel, and just sitting in a remote area of a provincial park, to just sit down and do it. But I know that weather and desktop computer are not a good mix. As well as not having a solar panel.
Really not sure when/how I will get a chance to deal with my files properly. Been bugging me a lot. Was trying to figure out a way to move out / be able to isolate, but I don't know when / if that is going to happen. A lot of unknowns in my life, undefined parameters, unpredictable factors, lack of control.
Some days I am brilliant, other days I'm muddled.
Still easily distracted by shiny things, bits of fluff floating on the breeze.
One of the cats was purring insanely, trying to cuddle behind my back and crawl through the sleeves of my cardigan.
Whoa, I just realized it has almost been a year since I have submitted anything.
I have a ton of photographs, images, half-finished paintings, video bits and pieces, that have been sitting at the back of my mind. "Put them up, put them up...!"
What holds me back is the sheer mass of backlog.
And that it is all spread across 2x 500gb drives, 1x 1tb drive, 1x 320gb, 2x 250gb. Duplicates, multiple versions, you name it - it is a snarl of insanity. Big chunk of the 1tb drive is video footage of my lectures, as well as footage from Latvia. Which I had a rough edit of, and then lost somewhere before New Years.
What I need, more than anything, is to find a space that I can plop myself, desktop, drives, laptops in, and just sit and plow through my stuff, eliminate duplicates, organize folders in a sane way.
Unrealistic flight of fancy dreams of getting a big solar panel, and just sitting in a remote area of a provincial park, to just sit down and do it. But I know that weather and desktop computer are not a good mix. As well as not having a solar panel.
Really not sure when/how I will get a chance to deal with my files properly. Been bugging me a lot. Was trying to figure out a way to move out / be able to isolate, but I don't know when / if that is going to happen. A lot of unknowns in my life, undefined parameters, unpredictable factors, lack of control.
Some days I am brilliant, other days I'm muddled.
Still easily distracted by shiny things, bits of fluff floating on the breeze.
One of the cats was purring insanely, trying to cuddle behind my back and crawl through the sleeves of my cardigan.
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In between San Diego and Latvia
2 min read
Quick entry just, in flurry of activity.
Got back from San Diego - had been out for Comic Con, my friend Sammi & Anthony's wedding, and Siggraph.
Am feverishly packing for Latvia - we leave tomorrow night, there for three weeks. My Poppa is going to see his grandchildren for the first time, and his family for the first time in over 50 years since he left the country as a POW during World War II.
Excited, a bit terrified - I know that I cannot record everything, but I want to.
And I'm very behind schedule on a lot of stuff I had wanted to get to people before now. Not happy about that, but hoping I will have some downtime at some point while I'm overseas that I can sit and get some stuff finished off.
Right now, I need to shove my butt back offline, phone in prescription refills, get those picked up, snag some new headphones and put laundry in to wash so that I'll at least have clean underwear while I'm there.
Totally jumbled thoughts as to what I am doing after I am back - was trying to resolve college stuff, that is sorted out, but while i was in San Diego came to realization that I am really not ready to be back at Georgian right now, and not at all sure if this trip to Latvia will calm me enough to want to return, or if it will leave me further disenchanted with professional photography and post-secondary education in light of trying to cope with narcolepsy.
Very much the sensation of being in anticipation of rebirth, renewal - in the process of transformation, but have not yet quite brought it into realization.
Got back from San Diego - had been out for Comic Con, my friend Sammi & Anthony's wedding, and Siggraph.
Am feverishly packing for Latvia - we leave tomorrow night, there for three weeks. My Poppa is going to see his grandchildren for the first time, and his family for the first time in over 50 years since he left the country as a POW during World War II.
Excited, a bit terrified - I know that I cannot record everything, but I want to.
And I'm very behind schedule on a lot of stuff I had wanted to get to people before now. Not happy about that, but hoping I will have some downtime at some point while I'm overseas that I can sit and get some stuff finished off.
Right now, I need to shove my butt back offline, phone in prescription refills, get those picked up, snag some new headphones and put laundry in to wash so that I'll at least have clean underwear while I'm there.
Totally jumbled thoughts as to what I am doing after I am back - was trying to resolve college stuff, that is sorted out, but while i was in San Diego came to realization that I am really not ready to be back at Georgian right now, and not at all sure if this trip to Latvia will calm me enough to want to return, or if it will leave me further disenchanted with professional photography and post-secondary education in light of trying to cope with narcolepsy.
Very much the sensation of being in anticipation of rebirth, renewal - in the process of transformation, but have not yet quite brought it into realization.
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